Max Power Teams-up with Burton’s Batman: Part the Second

As I stated in my last installment, Nolan’s epic vision, (and let’s speak plainly, it is an epic) is grounded in realism or at the very least cloaked in a storytelling that feels to our brain like realism. If we really want to split hairs it’s about fifty to sixty-thousand miles north of realism with its neutron bombs and ninja-terrorists. I digress. Clearly our boy Chris was going for something hyper-serious and filmic to the teeth.

On the other end of the spectrum, Tim Burton was telling the story of a superhero. His films were depicting the adventures of a man firmly rooted in the pulp tradition that spawned him. In the lore of Batman, his love interests were either fawning socialites waiting to be rescued or femme-fatales, with an emphasis on the fatal. He could have a boy sidekick, a rocket car, a rocket-submarine, a rocket-rocket, a life-size T-Rex and an enormous penny; all stashed in his subterranean hangout and regularly dusted by his English butler. Batman can be expected to snap a drug dealer’s wrist Monday and then find time to make Superman feel stupid on Tuesday which is when I assume the Justice League comes together for game-night and Batman just absolutely wrecks ass at Clue. Batman the superhero is not bound to any one genre and better than any character in fiction he can cross from the fantastic (punching parademons with electrified gauntlets) to the more mundane (dangling a crooked cop off a high-rise in search of a kidnapped child).

Tim Burton gave us a Batman that lived in the cardboard boxes of Happy Meals and on juice glasses destined to become collectibles. Namely, the Batman I grew up with. Fan-boys who opine about the perfection of Bruce Timm’s Batman: The Animated Series would do well to remember that it was heavily influenced by the Burton films. Oh and if we can’t agree that Timm’s Batman is the absolute perfect Batman in any medium, then we should probably part ways here. Also as a result, I now hate you. But if we are restricting this debate to the realm of live-action feature films, than I must argue that Batman Returns gave us what is arguably the best Batman film to date. (Please understand that my definition of Batman is a superhero that fights crime and therefore that is the character model I come to see when I watch a film about a superhero crime-fighter)

Over the past few years I have made it a point to watch Batman Returns every Christmas, usually in a double bill with Die-Hard.  Yearly viewings began to impress upon me something I had felt but never before articulated. Simply put, Batman Returns offers us a damn near perfect representation of Batman. Gone is the strange inclusion of pop music and the wonky characters of the previous outing. The legwork of establishing the world was done in the bombastic yet flawed Batman. Now, Burton is allowed to offer us a dark, Christmas fairytale in a gothic city of stone and snow.

Burton has taken a lot of heat by a faction of the fan-base for not really understanding the character while Nolan is genuflected to as the savior of all things bat. I think Burton had a better grasp on the notion that Bruce Wayne needed to be Batman and was at best impatient and at worst uncomfortable actually being Bruce Wayne. An absolutely perfect Batman moment occurs early on in Returns when the Bat-Signal is first lit. The signal is reflected down into Bruce’s study by various spotlights positioned on Wayne Manor until it reaches Bruce. For this scene Burton bathes Bruce in shadow, portraying him as a brooding, lonely soul, but as soon as that light hits him, he is born again, as we imagine he is born anew each time the signal is lit.

 

Burton understood that there was pathology at work in Bruce and that being Batman was the only healthy outlet for him. For Batman there is no cure for his pain, only treatment. The treatment is to stalk the criminal underworld and to protect the innocent. Bruce‘s pain cannot be cured, only held at bay; Batman is the medication for what would otherwise be a terminal illness. Nolan saw the Batman as a curse, something Bruce needed to endure and then ultimately get out from under. He envisioned that there would be peace for him when his work was done. Doesn’t this effectively limit him to his conflict with the League of Shadows? Didn’t the Joker thoroughly prove that there will always be another threat? Burton understood the idea of the rogues gallery; there will always be another threat. Portrayed by Keaton, we see the classic Batman dynamic at work; Bruce is but the mask Batman wears in the day and there will always be a need for The Batman.  

Returns also shows us a Gotham that belongs to Batman. When things go awry, the commissioner and the mayor both immediately turn to Batman as though he were the city’s one man SWAT team. When the Penguin successfully frames the Batman, Gotham is shown in a real state of terror because they have seemingly lost the man on the wall keeping the forces of chaos at bay. The confidence and authority Batman brings to each of his confrontations with the Red Triangle Circus gang is invigorating and since this was before every action scene needed to be filmed with a shaky-cam and cut against five other scenes taking place simultaneously, I can’t recall an action set-piece where Batman comes off better. This is the Batman that has planned ahead, that has three moves for every one of yours.

This rare sequel is also elegantly, a film of juxtaposition. Both hero and villain are orphans yet rather than have his parents ripped from him as Bruce did, The Penguin was exiled instead by his parents. Bruce became a freak as a result of being orphaned; Oswald Cobblepot was orphaned as a result of being a freak. Another nice duality is Keaton’s Bruce Wayne being positioned against Walken’s Max Shreck in a battle of the billionaires each fighting to preserve or establish their vision of a future Gotham. Perhaps, the best oppositional dynamic is that of Selina Kyle and Catwoman. Pfeiffer ably walks the tightrope of this role showing us a victim, a predator and somewhere underneath both, a comingling that could lead to a whole and healthy woman if only fate and circumstance would allow.

If I were to run a list of what was right with this film, I could triple the size of this article. I will admit that some may feel The Penguin is too jokey and just a retread of what Nicholson was doing. While others may find the villain’s ultimate scheme with rocket bearing penguins a little foolish. But melt it down to its core and what do you have? An exiled misfit, so broken by his mistreatment at the hands of the world that has now twice spurned him, he is happily willing to snuff out the life of every one of Gotham’s firstborn sons and then some. As the film races to its end all the threads weave together; a doomed romance, a victim’s revenge and a city’s fate decided by individuals it neither accepts nor fully understands. This is a film about people so broken that not only will they not fully integrate into society, but they cannot even fit with other misfits. Only Batman in accepting that his trauma has marked him for something special can take peace in knowing that he stands out society so that he can protect it.

In closing, I will say this vision of Batman so deeply appeals to me because I do not want a Batman who wants to be free of the burden of protecting me. I invested my hopes and child-worship into him because he so willingly gave everything to make sure no child or parent suffered the fate of his fractured family. Nolan has done something special with his films and honored a character we all love with a worthy interpretation of him. Understand though, that is all it is, his interpretation. It is not the ultimate offering of Batman; it is not the final say. Ask yourself, a man who dresses up like a bat, lives in a cave, has a rocket car, a boy sidekick and can spend his weekends on a satellite orbiting the earth with demigods, how real do you want that to be? Be very careful with the realism you court, because real can often times be another word for mundane.

Max Power

Contributing Writer

Max Power Teams-Up with Burton's Batman

As Christopher Nolan’s epic trilogy comes to a close, it dawns on your old pal Max that a generation of Bat-fans will have come up knowing only Mr. Bale as their Batman. While it’s certainly not a bad thing to have weaned yourself on Nolan’s vision of Gotham city, it would be a shame if that’s the only Gotham you ventured into because I truly believe in a great many ways, Burton’s was better.

First let’s start with the unassailable truth. 1989’s Batman was the most important superhero film ever made. While Richard Donner’s Superman before it was indeed a commercial success, Batman proved that a film based on a superhero could become a financial juggernaut. It wasn’t so much about the box office, which was hefty enough for its time, but the sheer cultural impact the film had was staggering. The bat-signal was everywhere that summer and it goes without saying that the film moved a great deal of merchandise off the shelves. This film is the reason why Warner Bros. and every other studio kept returning to the well of superhero filmmaking, albeit with varied degrees of success through the coming decades. Batman proved that if you did it right, there was a rabid fan-base waiting to throw money at you for your efforts.

But why was the film so successful? Simply put, it works. It’s a strange film and in many ways dated, but it manages to impress a feeling upon you that is darkly magical. There is a whimsy infused in the gothic-noir overtones that is richly satisfying. This is not Nolan’s hyper-real “this could actually happen” vision of Batman. This is Batman the superhero. If the Batman from Super-Friends were to represent that character in childhood, then this is Batman in his third year of college, more mature with better taste in music.

Here are some points to mull when considering the merit of Burton’s vision:

• Keaton’s Batman is confident and sure. He lacks the confusion and uncertainty that plagues Bale’s portrayal. Bale would be lost without Lucius Fox, the real superhero of those films, while Keaton is stalking the steamy alleyways of Gotham like a panther.
• The suit design was a revelation. It’s sleek and powerful and made you believe that the guy who played Mr. Mom could kick your ass. Twenty years later and Bale’s first suit was hardly that different.
• No moment in any of these films has yet to surpass the moment when Batman raises the mugger up and tells him “I’m Batman” as Elfman’s score rises and swells.
• Hans Zimmer’s work on the Nolan trilogy has been wonderful. Danny Elfman however created a score that stands alone as one of the greatest character themes of all times.
• Batman actually does some detective work in this film, deducing the identity of the Joker as well as the intent of his scheme.
• The Batcave is on full display and the fact that the mansion is bugged for sound and video is a wonderful touch that shows a great understanding of the character.
• With few careful scenes we are shown that Gotham has become a grimy city on the decline, as opposed to constantly being beat over the head with the fact that Gotham is a city in decay ala Nolan.
• “Where does he get those wonderful toys?”
• Michael Gough’s Alfred is perfection. Though, so is Caine.
• In not being a slave to realism, Burton’s Gotham is permitted to be some ingenious mash-up of art-deco 40’s noir and filthy 70’s crime film, Manhattan.
• When he flies in on that batwing, all is right with this world.
• Nicholson’s Joker is a force in every way Ledger was. Ledger was the boogeyman. He came from nowhere with no discernible motivation beyond chaos. Jack on the other hand, played the mad artist, the sociopath obsessed with the gratification of self who embodied the empty vanity of his time with lethal charm.
• The moment of understanding that passes between Keaton and Nicholson when the Joker fist asks, “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight” is powerful stuff.
• The unveiling of the Bat-signal at the end is the stuff of fanboy pixie-dust.

What I grudgingly admit does not work:

• Several scenes are basically Prince music videos and on every level that is awful.
• Commissioner Gordon’s role is minimal and Pat Hingle just doesn’t have the chops.
• Vicki Vale is a screaming, whiny annoyance. Also she is an idiot.
• The mayor really wants this festival to happen but he should please stop talking.
• The Joker dresses his gang in nicely coordinated outfits and I am left to wonder how he ordered these accoutrements that even sport a Joker logo. He either made them himself or bought them at the place where little league teams get their jerseys made up.
• Robert Wuhl, Robert Wuhl, Robert Wuhl. His portrayal of Knox the reporter is an open wound in a rainstorm of lemon juice. I like the notion of an investigative reporter tracking the urban legend that is Batman, Wuhl’s Humphrey Bogart meets Jerry Seinfeld approach does not work for me though.
• Bruce Wayne is less a playboy and more a billionaire weirdo who likes to collect armor and trick hot chicks into thinking he isn’t a billionaire. Bruce you have it backwards. We tell them we ARE billionaires then let them find out we are weirdos who collect shit.
• The fact that Bruce Wayne sleeps upside down is a little too on the nose.
• The Joker being his parent’s killer just doesn’t work for me. 

Well there you have it, my examination of the movie that made this all possible. For more, check out this follow-up post ,where I discuss the greatest Batman movie ever made. Batman Returns.

Max Power

Contributing Writer

Still Hating on Spidey? Read This, Fanboy.

Fair warning: This article is riddled with spoilers. That said, if you've sworn off seeing the movie due to critical reviews or otherwise, this article is for you. Listen up, fanboy. You're making a huge mistake.

Spoilers begin below!

"An unnecessary, premature reboot."
"Peter Parker screen time > Spider-Man screen time (like, by a lot)"
"The f@$#ing origin - again?!"
"Mask's off."
"What's going on with that costume?"
"Peter Parker ... on a skateboard. A. skate. board."
"That's a lot of lizards for a movie set in New York City."
"Ooops, the mask is off again."
"Oh, the Lizard's inner monolouge is just like the Green Goblin's?"
"A villainous plot damn near lifted from "Batman Begins."
"A lizard rat. Yes, a lizard rat."
"Is his mask seriously off, again?"

Had I not remained relatively spoiler-free leading up to this movie's release, these things, taken out of context, would have kept me from seeing Amazing Spider-Man. Hell, lots of people are spouting these very things all over the interwebs (tee hee) right now, convincing others (maybe even you) to stay away. The scary part is they're kinda right. Truthfully, these are all things about the movie that, frankly, I still don't like very much.

So why am I compelled to convince you to drop 10 or 12 hard-earned bucks at your local movieplex on what some describe as more nonconsentual sex with your childhood? Because the stuff they get right, proves why this movie had to happen and makes it the best Spider-Man flick as well as one of the top 5 superhero films of all time. No foolin'.

Gwendolyn Loves Spider-Man
Since this seems to be the go-to reason to see the movie from fans and critics alike, let's get this one out of the way quickly and early. Peter and Gwen are perfectly characterized and their relationship is believable, entertaining and relatable (well, for some of us - we all know some of you trolls aren't getting any).

Anyone who's seen "500 Days of Summer" saw this coming from director Marc Webb a mile away. Haven't seen it? Good day, sir. Kindly return when you're up to speed.

Garfield and Stone deserve lots of credit here as well. Mainly for being better looking and more talented than Maguire and Dunst.

But Isn't the Lizard ... Y'Know ... a  Pretty Shitty Villain?
Sure. He's not great. Ledger's Joker he ain't, but what he is, is a violent, intelligent, straightforward, formidable villain that can go toe-to-toe with Spidey in thrilling, fast-paced action sequences in which Spidey gets beaten and battered and sliced open and nearly drowned in 3D. Will that work for you? No? Drop dead. Do you even like movies like this?

Everybody's Smart (Except When They're Not)
Many of us do a lot of screaming at our TVs and movie screens ourselves. When a character makes a dumb move we get pissed. These are usually annoying characters that screw shit up for everyone in the name of moving the story along. You know, they're usually dumb kids or Jar Jar Binks. Well ... OK, mostly Jar Jar.

We yell at our protagonists when they make mistakes, too. "How could they be so stupid?!" Guess what? We humans do dumb shit that doesn't make any sense all of the time. Even you. ESPECIALLY you. We need the characters to be flawed and behave like humans to make them relatable and to tell interesting stories. To give us a reason to root for them. Spider-Man is a perfect example of this, and it's on display here, but that not what I'm talking about.

Mistakes are made by the characters in this story. Big ones. But it's not because they're dumb. To the contrary. The characters are much brighter than in your average movie, picking up on all of the played-out superhero movie tropes as they occur. This is a world where it's hard to have a secret identity. It's a world where a teenager with spider powers might not realize how important it is to even have a secret identity.

Wouldn't Gwen figure out that her dying father would make Peter promise to stay away from her to protect her? Yes, and she does. Right away.

Wouldn't Flash Thompson kinda notice that Pete's starting to show up to school all buff and confident? Sure would.

Wouldn't Aunt May figure out why her nephew comes home beat up every night while she watches round-the-clock Spider-Man coverage on TV. Of course she would.

Hey, I said it'd be spoilery.

A Very Necessary Reboot
Go pull out the three Spidey movies and rewatch them. Go ahead. I'll wait...

Oh, wow. Those weren't as good as you remembered, huh? Yikes. Generally good yarns, but the dialogue? Blech. Green Goblin's costume? The Power Rangers must have had a garage sale. Let's not even discuss 3.

These movies have not aged well and I can't help but feel that many of the writers of Amazing Spider-Man must have watched Raimi's movies whilst screaming at the screen, "NO! Not like that! You're doing it wrong! AUUUGGGGHHHHH! Someday, Spidey, someday I'll make this right." Yet, they must have also been saying, "OK that part wasn't bad. Let's use that. Red and blue costume, eh? Genius!" 

They kept what worked and made vast improvements to the special effects, the action, the spider-powers and the interactions between the characters. The movie rebooted the franchise by putting Spider-Man in a much more believable, sci-fi world and it doesn't skimp on the emotions and excitement that are vital to any powerful Spider-Man tale.

The pursuit and ultimate failure to apprehend Uncle Ben's killer gives Peter a believable reason to become and stay Spider-Man. True to the comics, Peter is driven by responsibility, but thankfully, they never go so far as to reuse the cliched, "With Great Power Come Great Responsibility" line.

Perhaps the best part about the Amazing Spider-Man is where it can lead. They've made the story much more personal for Peter. The origin of the Lizard is closely related to his family. His own origin is related to his father's work for Oscorp. All signs point to future villains being tied to this secret history as well, which makes a hell of a lot more sense than a new villain popping up every few months with some insane, new, unrelated origin with Spidey feeling compelled to kick their butt around Manhattan.

With the world that's been created here, and stories like the death of Gwen and a rebooted Goblin on the horizon, I believe that it's a very real possibility that we see a sequel on par with The Dark Knight. Maybe better.

In Conclusion, What the Hell Are You Even Complaining For?!
In the end, we live in a time when it's profitable to put out high-budget Spider-Man movies every few years. Spider-Man MOVIES, people! And we're complaining about Peter Parker riding a skateboard between scenes of him swinging from New York skyscrapers, dodging bullets and punching a giant Lizard.

If this movie isn't for you (and I'd be surprised if it isn't), there will probably be another not far behind that will be. Until then, if you're a Spider-Man fan, put your reservations aside and get your butt to a theater and see this one. It's the truest version we've ever seen in live-action and you'll want to be in at the ground-level as a true Spidey fan. This one's for us.

Jack Welcomes the Return of the Webhead

Hey everybody, this is Jack reporting in once again. Hope you all had a great Fourth of July, and more importantly, that you all had a chance to go and see the Amazing Spider-Man. I know I was first in line Tuesday evening, but before I delve into my review, allow me to share with you the following personal story.

I’ll never forget when, ten years ago, the very first Spider-Man movie hit the big screens. Back then, good superhero flicks were the Holy Grail of fanboys everywhere. We all wanted to believe it was possible to make a decent live-action comic book, but had yet to really see it. The original Batman films were good for their day, but even as a kid I was keenly aware of just how corny they were. But then, just when all hope seemed lost, the X-Men movie debuted and was a surprising hit. Not long after, the ads started to roll for a Spider-Man film and instantly I was hooked. My best friend bought me the movie poster to which I immediately hung on the bedroom wall. Teaser trailers appeared online depicting a helicopter caught in a giant web between the World Trade Center towers. (The ad was later pulled after 9/11.)  You couldn’t read a Marvel issue without a full page ad of Spidey swinging right at you and seemingly off the page. When the day finally arrived I bolted from school, piled into the car of my only friend with a license, and made haste for the nearest theater.

Now, a decade later, we’re blessed to live in an age where superhero movies have become their own genre. Not a year goes by without at least two or three, and for the most part, they’ve all been very successful. With the exception of the Hulk, that is. Oh well. At least he was badass in the Avengers. Even Batman managed to turn it around with their reboot of the franchise. Yet, of all the great movies we’ve been given over the years, I still feel that the original Spider-Man was my favorite experience. Not just because it revolutionized the industry, but also because it was the first film that truly made me feel like I could be a hero too. So the question is: does the Amazing Spider-Man hold up to the original?

The short answer is yes, absolutely. As comic book movies go, it’s everything you could hope for and more. Although don’t be too surprised if you wind up comparing it to the original every step of the way. Yes, it’s true that the story feels awfully familiar right from the start, and not just because Spider-Man’s origin is common knowledge. It’s mainly in part because the previews didn’t do a great job of portraying it as a complete reboot. The tagline: “The Untold Story” led me to believe that Amazing was going to be a prequel of sorts, touching only briefly on his origins. I mean, we’ve seen that part already, right? With that in mind, I certainly wasn’t expecting his origin to be drawn out through the entire first half of the movie. To me, this is an overused device in filmmaking. When Stan Lee first created these characters, their origin was summed up in the first page of the issue and then hit the ground running. If only that were the case at the box office. At a certain point I always find myself getting impatient. It’s like: “C’mon already, get bit by the spider. Is Uncle Ben dead yet? Let’s get this show on the road.”

That being said, I have to admit that everything else was a pure delight. Andrew Garfield’s performance is spot on for both Peter Parker and Spider-Man. As Peter, he’s the lovable misfit we all felt like in our younger years. Yet as Spider-Man, he’s as confident and compassionate as well all strive to be. Not to mention that unlike Tobey Maguire, this Spidey is downright funny, just the way he should be. Hell, Amazing Spider-Man has more jokes in the trailer than the original three films combined. With the addition of web-shooters this time around, we actually get to see Peter’s scientific mind in action; a refreshing change of pace.

Additionally, the inclusion of Gwen Stacy as the love interest was not only more accurate to the original story, but also a nice reward for those of us who’ve followed the comics long enough to know who the Stacys are, and let’s face it, Emma Stone isn’t hard to look at for two hours either. But I think my favorite concept was the relationship between Peter and Captain Stacy. There’s nothing worse than the anxiety of meeting your girlfriend’s dad for the first time. Now imagine being the masked vigilante her detective father is publicly trying to apprehend on top of that. As if first impressions aren't hard enough. There's a dinner table scene in particular where the tension between the two gave me horrible flashbacks of my own adolecent dating experiences. Trust me. You've all been there before.

Lastly, I'd like to make mention of how great a choice the Lizard was as the villain. He's a scientist who turns into a giant raging reptile. Our hero is a student with the powers of an arachnid. The symmetry of the two has such a natural flow, and I love the friends/enemies dynamic. Plus, the special effects really bring the Lizard to life in a believable way, and even Dr. Connors' missing limb is convincing rather than a cheap camera trick or an actor with his arm so obviously tucked into his shirt. With Spider-Man, my favorite villains were always the animal themed ones. I know Norman Osborn is the main event, but personally, I'll take the Vulture or Doc Ock any day.

So there it is. If you've found yourself asking: "is it as good as the original?" the answer is yes. As for: "did it need to be rebooted?," well, probably not, but it is a solid film with something for everyone. I won't give anything away, but I will tell you the movie even has some genuine heart. There's a scene towards the end that's particularly touching where some New Yorkers rally to help everyone's favorite wallcrawler in his darkest hour. I'm sure all you True Believers know to stay put during the end credits because, as always, there's a teaser. A brief one at that, but check it out anyway.

To those of you who have already seen the Amazing Spider-Man I hope you liked it as much as I did.  Those of you who haven't: what are you still doing reading this? Get to the box office, you slackers!

Jack of all Trade Paperbacks
Contributing Writer
_______________________________

If you'd like to contribute to Salt City Fanboy, either as a writer, an artist, or otherwise, shoot me an email at saltcityfanboy@gmail.com.

New Spidey Poster Suggests Involvement of Mysterio - Updated

UPDATE! (Dec. 17, 2011)

I feel compelled to address my rant about "The Amazing Spider-Man" from earlier this week. That's because the movie's website was updated with lots of nice new images and character descriptions that seem to point to "The Untold Story" being the tale of Peter's mom and dad's death and how that helps shape him as a hero. This could be an interesting new spin on his origin, since it's never been addressed in the comics in a very serious way.

Sorry to jump to conclusions, Mr. Mysterio, sir. Carry on.
__________________________________

Original Blog Entry (Dec. 13, 2011)

You see, I'm starting to think that Mysterio is handling the marketing of the new Spider-Man movie.

The teaser poster for "The Amazing Spider-Man" was released last week, and as most things tend to do these days, it ignited a minor Internet uproar. Many (myself included) have been critical of the teaser trailer that was released many months ago, largely because it looked like the movie will be rehashing the same ground that Spider-Man movie from 2002 covered - in essence, the origin of Spidey.

Now, this poster adds a new fold to the controversy by including the tag line, "The Untold Story." See, I thought this was a relaunch. Is it not? Is it a story that just got left out of the universe of the original three movies? I really did not think that this was the intent of this film. If it is then has Curt Connors been the Lizard the whole time? Did Pete really fall for Gwen Stacy before MJ? Did Tobey Maguire turn into a more attractive British actor for a brief stint? It just raises too many questions and complicates what should be a clean start.

My hope is that we can chalk this up to bad marketing, but if that's so, why is director Mark Webb (yes, Webb) putting his stamp of approval on it? I'm not going to lie fanboys and girls, it has me a mite bit worried.

All will be revealed when the movie is released on July 3, 2012 in a theater near you. Until then, I suppose we can let Mysterio have his fun.



The Amazing Spider-Man Teaser Poster 
(Click to Enlarge This Head-scratcher)



Men in Black 3 Teaser Trailer Premieres

I remember seeing the original MIB in theaters more than once upon its release. Being a broke teenager at the time, multiple viewings of the same flick while it was still playing on the big screen was not a regular occurrence. Ultimately, my love for MIB did not survive the release of the abysmal second entry in the series and oddly, I never sought out the comic book that inspired the film, but that first MIB really captured my imagination at the time.

I've always seen this property as ripe with opportunity for more good stories. So, with the arrival of the first official trailer for MIB3 my hopes are officially up. Especially since we get time travel this time. For me, time travel's like bacon. You put bacon on something, it becomes exponentially better than it ever was. Same thing with time travel. And aliens. Whatta you know! This movie has both.

Check out the trailer below! Mmmmm ... time travel.

"Rock 'Em Sock 'Em..." ...er, I mean... "Real Steel"

At the risk of losing credibility as a movie-critic-like-person, I really want to see "Real Steel." In addition to the big, loud, punching robots, it looks like they have Hugh Jackman's character fleshed out enough to keep me interested and Kate Austen's in it. It's truly amazing that given the inevitable success of "Battleship" (har har) that Mattel didn't slap the "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots" title on this bad boy.

Just give me a 2-D, HD theater with the sound cranked up and I'll gladly be handing over my twelve bucks. I mean, c'mon! It's robots punching each other for God's sake! If that doesn't appeal to you, I'm pretty sure "The Help" is still ruining male movie-going experiences at a theater near you.



"Real Steel" premieres at your local movie house on Friday, Oct. 7.

Coming Up "Dry"

Writing this blog, I'm able to expound upon all of the things that I have a great interest in. Most of the time, it doesn't take much to find content to cover since I'm constantly scouring websites for the latest movie, TV and comic book news - you know, fanboy stuff. This week, I was pleasantly surprised to find the movie trailer below in an unlikely spot - my alma mater's alumni Facebook page.

What's that you say? I'm shamelessly promoting a fellow New Paltz grad's work? Yes. Yes I am. The beauty of it is that this flick is right in this blog's wheelhouse as well.

Starring James C. Burns, best known to us as Frank Woods in "Call of Duty: Black Ops" and Agent Mark Conrad in the academy award-winning, smash-hit "Dinocroc vs. Supergator," "Dry" is a post-apocalyptic western in which "Water is Power." There's no info as to when or where it will screen, but keep it on your radar. It definitely looks like it'll be worth a watch - even if you aren't a New Paltz graduate.

2015 Has Come Early (For Your Feet)

Get ready, McFly. This is heavy.

It started with a tweet. Famed producer Frank Marshall posted, "Something big is coming. Can't say anything yet. No one should know too much about their own destiny. #BTTF" The obvious Back to the Future reference and hashtag sent the interwebz aflutter with theories of a remake or sequel. What was actually revealed was something I never expected to see. I'll give you a hint: it's not the sports almanac.

 

That's right, Nike is actually making the self-lacing shoes that Marty (and Marty Jr.) wear in Back to the Future 2!  Nike had the technology patented last year and there were rumblings then that this could be in the works. 1500 pairs of these shoes will be auctioned off with proceeds benefiting the Michael J. Fox Foundation. For the complete story and more videos, check out Slashfilm.com.

Nice work, Nike! Now, who's working on the patent for hoverboards? 2015 will be here before you know it!

Star Wars Blu-ray Changes - The Good, the Bad & the Whatever

Well, it's official - there will be many changes to the Star Wars movies for the blu-ray release. One's a very good idea, two are really awful and most are things that really don't matter at all and you wonder why they even bothered.

So let's start with ... THE GOOD.
Crappy 1999 puppet Yoda will indeed be changed to CGI Yoda used in AOTC and ROTS and Classic 1981-83 puppet Yoda will not. I addressed this when it was first speculated a few weeks ago. In my opinion, it's just good to make his appearance consistent for the prequels. Unfortunately, no amount of CGI Yoda will make the Gungans bearable.



Next up is ... THE BAD.
Vader will indeed yell "NOOOOOOOOOO!" when he tosses Palpatine down the chute in Death Star 2. Now, I'm not one who really minded the "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" in ROTS. I get that it was an homage to old monster movies. I didn't think that it was laughable like many, many fans did. Call me an apologist, but for me, it worked.

Now ... adding it to ROTJ. No. Stop. Don't. It's absolute crap. Vader's silent, internal struggle just before saving Luke has always been beautifully done. I've long defended ROTJ from detractors who point to ewoks and muppets in Jabba's palace and I use the Vader/Luke/Palpatine scenes to do that. These are the scenes that are the payoff for not only the original trilogy, but now the entire saga. It's just done perfectly and I hate that Mr. Lucas has decided to make any kind of change to it. If anyone watches this newly adjusted scene and feels that it's a good addition, we need to chat, because I'm afraid you're wrong. Perhaps more wrong than you've ever been.



See? Just ... I mean ... so damn bad.

The only other thing that I qualify as BAD is the updated krayt dragon scream that Obi Wan uses to scare away the sand people in ANH. This is not because I'm some kind of krayt dragon purist. It just sounds so ridiculous. It sounds like a South Park parody of the scream in the original release for Christ's sake!



And finally .... THE WHATEVER.
There will also be relatively minor improvements to a few scenes. For example, the ewoks will have eyelids (fine), there will be more TIE fighters in the final space battle of ROTJ (OK), Jabba's front door will be ginormous (unnecessary, but who cares?) and Artoo will have some CGI rocks to hide behind in ANH (why bother?). I guess my opinion here is - I don't care about this stuff, but I still prefer that you didn't, Mr. Lucas. Just don't.

Sadly, he did and he will continue to.

This leads to ... A PLEA TO GEORGE LUCAS.
Now, I might be coming across as a jaded fan of the Star Wars trilogies. Don't get me wrong, it's because I love these movies so much that I care about this kind of thing. So here's my plea, Mr. Lucas. This is what fans like me need: the Original Trilogy. Remastered for blu-ray. No special edition changes. At all. Then stop. Leave it alone. No more Star Wars changes. Enough. Then - Howard the Duck 2.

OK, forget that last part.

"The Goon" Coming (Not So) Soon to a Theater Near You

A while back I saw the beautiful test footage below of a "Goon" animated movie. I had been wondering what had ever come of it and unfortunately the answer is "not much."

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You'd watch that, right? Yeah, me too. Unfortunately it sounds like it's still a ways off. So what to do in the meantime? Pick up the books. "The Goon" by Eric Powell is available at your local comic book shop and is well worth your hard-earned bucks.

Update: Just found a very cool interview with Eric Powell on AICN. Check it out, man.

Catch Up

I was feeling under the weather the latter part of last week and my normally consistent blogging habits suffered right along with me. So, to get all caught up, I'm "borrowing" a format used on one of my favorite blogs, Pop Candy. Here's a quick rundown of everything that I should have been blogging about all last week and this past weekend. Tomorrow, I'll be back on the horse! Honest.

• The Captain America 2 screenwriter wants M.O.D.O.K. to be the villain in the sequel. Baaaaaad idea.

• Former DC writer, Brian Wood, will be coming back to Marvel to pen what looks like a Wolverine tale. OK, that's kinda cool. 

• I'm finishing up the amazing "Fun & Games" by Duane Swierczynski and now I'm eagerly awaiting "Hell & Gone." It's a total freefall of all-out action and laughs. Highly recommended! 

• I don't know enough about it to truly comment, but I've heard tremendous things about "The Hunger Games" YA book series. I just might give it a chance. Here's the first look at the movie: 

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• Guillermo Del Toro has decided to scare the bejeezus outta me with this trailer for "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark." The movie is playing is theaters, but you can also catch the last scene of the trailer playing over and over again in your mind when the lights around you so much as dim. Thanks, Guillermo. 

• Some tremendously entertaining comics came out last week including Kick-Ass 2 #3 (finally got good), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #1 (kind of a reboot of the story, very cool), and The Punisher #2 (spot-on, perfect Punny goodness).

• Breaking Bad is still the best show on television.

• This Ghost Rider trailer sucks and I hate it, but you know...Ghost Rider sucks and I hate him.

• Community's coming back with the excellent John Goodman:

• "Toon Books" encourage kids to read comic books from an early age! I bought my son Jeff Smith's "Little Mouse Gets Ready." (yes that Jeff Smith, creator of Bone)

• Finally, it looks like "Flashpoint" #5 gives us some explanation as to why the new 52 is coming into existence. You know, in a convoluted, Superboy punch kinda way.

So there you have it! All caught up. I know, I know ... you forgot everything I said before "rectum."

When It Was Magic

As soon as my young brain was developed enough to absorb and retain memory, it began to soak up the Star Wars culture that surrounded me. Born in 1981, I came into this world at a time when Empire was still playing in theaters. I was about two when Jedi was released. My earliest memories are foggy, but I recall small glimpses of it all; coveting ROTJ comic books from the drug store spinner rack, a C-3PO cake pan being used at every birthday party in the neighborhood, being terrified of the Kenner Rancor my uncle bought me for Christmas, and sleeping on a pillow case with the good guys on one side and the bad guys on the other – always good guys side up.

Recalling the years that followed that, the memories start to become clearer. Going to bed at six o’clock so that I could wake up at eight to watch The Battle for Endor, telling my friends that I did have a Han Solo figure like they did, but I fed it to my Rancor, and wailing on the dog with my lightsaber (a cardboard wrapping paper tube).

By fourth grade, my friends and I officially moved on from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and fell back in love with a galaxy far, far away (and Leia). We’d draw Chewie and Greedo in the margins of our notebooks and get together after school to watch the movies that our parents had recorded off of our remote-less, bunny-eared televisions. I vividly remember the loud CLACK-CLACK-CLACK the dial made as I changed the channels on that old thing.

Some of us have remained in an intense state of fandom ever since, but it will never be quite the same as it was back then. Before internet spoilers and message board trolls. Before countless remasterings and special editions. Before prequels. Back then our world was small, and there was a magic that existed in our lives. Not just on Tatooine, Hoth and Endor, but in our summers, our winters and our tree forts.

Being an adult, I have a different kind of appreciation for the saga, but I don’t love it any less. You’ll have to forgive the unabashed nostalgia, but I genuinely miss those legendary days when we all saw the droids, scoundrels and Jedi as only a child could. Unfortunately, it’s true what they say – you can never go back. Instead, I’ll just have to dress my son’s bed in my oId Jedi sheets – good guys up, bake him a Threepio cake for his next birthday, and watch the magic happen for a new generation.

I have a Kenner Rancor with a Han Solo inside of it that I think he’s just going to love.

Updates to Star Wars Saga with Blu Release?

We're just mere weeks away from the September 16 Star Wars saga blu-ray release and rumors have started to fly that there will be changes to the movies. Yes, again.

Slashfilm reported on Tuesday that the movies would indeed be changing again, but later posted an update from Bleeding Cool that refuted their earlier assertion that there would be big changes. You know ... things like the addition of Jabba in New Hope, the extended wampa scene in Empire and the god-awful "Jedi Rocks" scene in Jedi. They did however stick with their claim that the certain elements of the films would be "cleaned up," if you will. This includes making the lightsabers consistent in their appearance throughout all six flicks and removing a puppeteer's arm from a shot of the wampa. See? To me that's all good stuff.

Another, more significant, change that I really hope they make is something that's been rumored for a long time: the addition of a CGI Yoda in Phantom Menace. I am all for this. The Yoda puppet in TPM is atrocious. It looks nothing like the original Yoda puppet. OK...it's green, has big ears and it's short, so there are some similarities, but it's just not right. Right?

The DVD release of Revenge of the Sith featured a scene from TPM with CGI Yoda swapped in, confirming the speculation that Lucasfilm was at least playing with it. Maybe, they've done it for the 3-D release next year or maybe they've done it for this. ComicBookMovie.com posted the same scene this week claiming it's "confirmed" for the blu-ray release and many other sites are claiming the same thing.

Hope so I do. Promising it sounds.

Update: Here's my follow-up article - The Good, the Bad and the Whatever, featuring a plea to George Lucas!

King Returns to 11/22/63

Stephen King has a new book coming out in November called "11/22/63," and like many of his other works, this one is going to be made into a movie. It will be directed by Jonathan Demme, the director of "Silence of the Lambs" and it's been promised that we can "rest assured that this will be a project that is made with iron-clad dedication to the source material and true cinematic integrity."  Check out the description of the novel on this promo page on King's website.

A headline from an alternate 11/22/63

I'm a sucker for time travel, so even though JFK's death doesn't carry the weight for me that it does for my parents' generation (and King's), this still looks like a very interesting read. Plus, I love that we'll get to see the 1950's recreated on film again a la Back to the Future - even if we get there using less gigawatts.

DC Comics Week: The Dark Knight Rises

The Dark Knight isn't scheduled to rise until next year, but judging by the amount of spoilage that's being released by way of both spy photos from the set and officially released material, it looks like we're going to know the whole story by say...oh, I don't know...the end of next week?

Whether it's Anne Hathaway's half-baked Catwoman outfit (confirmed to be just that - we'll see a more complete costume in the film), the photos from Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, or the Bane vs. Bats videos, I'm afraid too much of this is being shared too early on. And to be honest, I'm not loving what I'm seeing.

From now on, this humble fanboy will only be watching officially released trailers. I still doubt that this movie will come anywhere near the brillance of "The Dark Knight," but I'm determined to make my mind up in the theatre on July 20, 2012 and not before then.


The Dark Knight Rises - Teaser Trailer - Watch more Funny Videos

Paul Lands on Tuesday

In case you missed it in theatres, "Paul" is coming out on blu-ray Tuesday. This qualifies for its own blog post for two main reasons: Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Pegg and Frost wrote this one and it was directed by "Superbad" director Greg Mottola. Seth Rogen voices "Paul." It's not quite "Shaun of the Dead" or "Hot Fuzz," but it's a must see if you enjoyed those.

In fact, when you're picking up "Paul," seek out the two seasons of "Spaced" while you're at it (on DVD and Hulu). It's the TV show that truly got Pegg, Frost and Edgar Wright (director of Shaun, Fuzz and Scott Pilgrim) noticed and it may be the funniest television show ever made. Really.

So, in celebration of  the "Paul" release and the start of the weekend, here's my favorite Pegg and Frost bit ever. Happy Friday, kids!

Cowboys & Aliens Review

Based on the kind of moviegoer you are, you either heard the title of this movie and scoffed or giggled with excitement. I admit to being firmly in the “giggle with excitement” camp and have been looking forward to this movie for a good long while. The premise, the actors, the writers, the producers, the director – all appeal greatly to me. So in the end did they pull it off?

Well…let me start by saying that if you were a “scoffer”, then this flick’s is not for you. That’s because this movie is exactly what it says it is. Cowboys being Cowboys. Aliens being Aliens. Cowboys killing Aliens. Aliens killing cowboys. If that’s not your bag, then you’re probably reading this blog by accident anyway. Gigglers please continue.

Spoilers ahead!

“Cowboys” starts out as a full-blown western. Our only glimpse of the impending sci-fi is the carved, metal bracelet around our amnesiac hero, Daniel Craig’s left wrist. Although we don’t know who he is or where he came from in the start of the movie, he’s established very quickly as a complete bad ass. We’ve only known him for a few moments before he kick the ever-living you-know-what out of three dudes trying to turn him in for bounty money. Then he takes off for the town of Absolution with their clothes, a horse and their dog on a collision course with…..more cowboys. No aliens yet.  Well, OK…just one, but more on that later.

Paul Dano gets it all rolling with his terrific portrayal of Percy Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford’s kid in the movie). What makes him so good? Well, you hate him with the fire of a 1,000 white hot suns within the first 3 seconds of meeting him. He’s an ignorant, entitled little prick and his stupidity gets our still nameless hero (Craig) wrapped up in the events of the town. In these early scenes, we’re also introduced to all of the other cowboys we’ll need to know: Doc (Sam Rockwell), Meachem (Clancy Brown), Sheriff Taggart (Keith Carradine), his grandson Emmett ( Noah Ringer), Nat (Adam Beach) and one cowgirl: Ella (Olivia Wilde).  Everyone brings their A-game to their role (ok maybe not Wilde). Nonetheless, you find yourself caring for this bunch right from the beginning. Mainly because of their unified disdain for Percy.

In this first scene lies the main recurring theme of this story. People from all different backgrounds coming together against one common foe. Here they’re victimized by Percy as he shoots up the town, but everyone (audience included) is unified in their feelings toward him. This happens again and again as the movie progresses – bigger and bigger alliances being forged each time.

By the time we meet Harrison Ford's Colonel Dolarhyde, we already know his reputation - he’s the only rich man in the town, he’s a bastard and we hate his son, but because he’s portrayed by Harrison, there’s also an instant likability about him. I challenge you not to pretend he’s an aging, earthly version of Han Solo at least once. You can’t do it (and if you can we're clearly very different people).

It’s around this time that people start to notice that Daniel Craig’s face is up on wanted signs around town. His name? Bond, James Bond...er….I mean…Jake Lonergan (sorry for that one). Well, Lonergan stole a mess of gold from Dolarhyde at one point, so Dolarhyde is pleased to find out that Jake has resurfaced. He and his gang roll into Absolution to take him, but E.T. has other plans.

The aliens first appear as what looks like a line of torches coming down the hills toward the town. It's a fantastic moment as these silent lights slowly approach and suddenly begin to reign hell on Absolution. The scene is chaotic and desperate as the alien ships begin to lasso the victims and zip them up into the air; an abduction with their own version of the traditional cowboy rope. The scene is fast moving and noisy, but you never lose focus on what's happening to the people. When someone is taken, you usually know who they are and who they're related to in the story. This makes the scene nice and unnerving. As you've undoubtedly seen in the trailer, Lonergan puts an end to the attack with his fancy new arm gun and all of the townspeople set out to get their people back.

Their journey takes them to all kinds of interesting places and the aliens are a fairly constant threat. The pacing is terrific. The movie does slow down at times, but only for well-acted and interesting moments between the characters. It has the kind of pacing that will give this movie great rewatchabilty. Personally, I enjoyed every scene with Ford in it immensely. A few times I worried that they might shortchange him and not give him enough to do, but his contributions near the end of the movie put all of this to rest quickly. So yes, overall a very good flick that will definitely go into the rotation on my blu-ray player someday soon.

What could I have done without? Most of Olivia Wilde's character. She just kind of there in the beginning, being mysterious, not telling Lonergan or the audience anything. It got old reeeeeal fast. Then, once she does start to share her secrets, her whole deal is pretty contrived. You see...she's another alien from another planet and her people were wiped out by the same aliens that are here to kill 'em some cowboys. Just pretty unnecessary stuff other than for providing some inside knowledge about the aliens.

Also, the whole space-faring monsters that all movie aliens have become recently is getting old. I'd would love for us to get back to the fantastic creepiness that "Fire in the Sky" and even "Signs" delivered on. No more mini-"Cloverfields". I'm looking at you too, "Super 8" (as good as you were).

I won't give away all of its surprises, and I'll even hold back on some of the better moments because I really want others to enjoy this movie the way that I did. Overall, it's a solid B+ movie that I'll watch incessantly upon it's blu-ray release. It doesn't have the depth of something like "Close Encounters" or "Super 8," but it definitely has the fun.

I mean c'mon, it stars cowboy James Bond and Han Solo killing big nasty aliens. In the end, isn't that what we all really want?

Star Wars Deleted Scenes

When the first DVDs came out, I recall rushing to watch the bonus features. These days, I’m lucky if I ever get around to watching them – especially the deleted scenes. If the director saw fit to remove them from the film, then there was probably good reason. Of course, the exception to this is the class of films that I watched so many times as a kid that they are practically in my DNA. Deleted scenes from those kinds of movies absolutely must be seen. Of course, because of this, now I can’t un-see the octopus scene from Goonies, so there’s that.

Here’s a sneak peek of the deleted scenes we’re getting on the blu-ray release of Star Wars this Fall. My guess is that “Wampa in the Rebel Base” scene > “Data Feeds the Octopus a Radio” scene.

Captain America: The First Avenger Review

When it was announced that director Joe Johnston  would be at the helm of the Cap movie, my first thought was "uh oh, Jurassic Park 3," my second thought was "oh, but Rocketeer!"

Well today I found out where on that crazy spectrum it fell. Spoilers after the jump, but I'll give you a hint: it's better than Jumanji.

I've had a very hard time sitting back and enjoying the ride with both this movie and "Thor." I attribute that to the fact that I know very well that we're getting an Avengers movie next year and I know where these characters are going. I won't go so far as to say that these two movies are basically 2-hour trailers for the Avengers as some have implied, but I can't help but want to see the story lines move faster - to get to the good stuff. Because of this I found myself waiting for scenes to be play themselves out as I watched. When the current issue onscreen is "Will Cap get into the Army?" you think "Of course. Get on with it." When Cap might not survive the super serum - "Of course he will. Get on with it."

I'm quite confident that I'll enjoy this movie much more on the second viewing. I'll know how much of the story is going to be told and I will be able to appreciate each scene without wondering if there's going to be a Baron Zemo cameo. Now, this is not to say that I did not enjoy this movie. In fact, I did very much. I just feel that Johnston (like Branaugh with Thor) is saddled with very high expectations of the Avengers. There's not much he can do about that other than go out and make a damn fun movie. Thankfully, hes done just that.

Set almost entirely in the WWII era, Cap is completely an origin tale, which are notoriously hard to pull off. Especially to hardcore comic fans. We know eveyone's origin by heart. Want to know why? Because Stan Lee presented them to us in about a page and a half 70 years ago. They're simple, quick plot devices that get us to the punching. Yet, it's pulled off here. The origin is still simple, but by putting together a fantastic cast and giving them all "real", three dimensional characters to play in these scenes, they makes you care. Even, Stanley Tucci's Abraham Erskine, the doctor that gives Cap his powers is interesting. Most movies these days don't have main characters that are so well fleshed out. Kudos to the writers here - they gave us a large side of story with our extra large helping of special effects.

I would say that the biggest success of this movie is Chris Evan's Steve Rogers. I had my doubts, but Evans fits the role so perfectly, it wasn't at all jarring to see the Human Torch play Cap. Cap is written exactly as he should be: honest, noble, determined, strong and heroic. He just all around good. To me, that's Cap. They do take him on kind of a weird tangent with the whole USO show deal, but I suppose they needed a plot device to allow Cap to prove himself on his own. By this I mean, instead of having someone else deploy him into a battle to be heroic, Cap has the opportunity to break away and be heroic on his own terms.

Once he becomes full-on WWII Captain America, the story becomes fast-paced and exciting. Lots of punching. Hugo Weaving makes a great Red Skull and it's great to see them face off. Cap uses his shield a lot, and it looks amazing. Anytime someone got CLANG-ed with that bad boy, a smile sprang to my face. The Howling Commandos were also smirk-inducing. Some very good character actors used there as well and they're always in on the action.

One thing I could have definitely done without is the lasers that the Red Skull's organization, Hydra, uses. Not necessarily from a story perspective, but more from an aesthetic feel of the WWII era scenes. I suppose it offended my delicate sensibilities to see lasers being shot in otherwise very well done period shots. After all, if they had lasers in the 1940s, then what's so impressive about Tony Stark's tech in the 2000's? Right? I wish they stuck to bullets and found another way to work in the power of the cosmic cube. Oh yeah. Did I not mention the cosmic cube? Seems like something they might use in the Avengers movie, huh? I wonder.

So which end of the spectrum? Firmly on the Rocketeer's end. Hopefully higher with repeat viewings and more time spent with Evans as Cap. Avengers Assemble!