Still Hating on Spidey? Read This, Fanboy.

Fair warning: This article is riddled with spoilers. That said, if you've sworn off seeing the movie due to critical reviews or otherwise, this article is for you. Listen up, fanboy. You're making a huge mistake.

Spoilers begin below!

"An unnecessary, premature reboot."
"Peter Parker screen time > Spider-Man screen time (like, by a lot)"
"The f@$#ing origin - again?!"
"Mask's off."
"What's going on with that costume?"
"Peter Parker ... on a skateboard. A. skate. board."
"That's a lot of lizards for a movie set in New York City."
"Ooops, the mask is off again."
"Oh, the Lizard's inner monolouge is just like the Green Goblin's?"
"A villainous plot damn near lifted from "Batman Begins."
"A lizard rat. Yes, a lizard rat."
"Is his mask seriously off, again?"

Had I not remained relatively spoiler-free leading up to this movie's release, these things, taken out of context, would have kept me from seeing Amazing Spider-Man. Hell, lots of people are spouting these very things all over the interwebs (tee hee) right now, convincing others (maybe even you) to stay away. The scary part is they're kinda right. Truthfully, these are all things about the movie that, frankly, I still don't like very much.

So why am I compelled to convince you to drop 10 or 12 hard-earned bucks at your local movieplex on what some describe as more nonconsentual sex with your childhood? Because the stuff they get right, proves why this movie had to happen and makes it the best Spider-Man flick as well as one of the top 5 superhero films of all time. No foolin'.

Gwendolyn Loves Spider-Man
Since this seems to be the go-to reason to see the movie from fans and critics alike, let's get this one out of the way quickly and early. Peter and Gwen are perfectly characterized and their relationship is believable, entertaining and relatable (well, for some of us - we all know some of you trolls aren't getting any).

Anyone who's seen "500 Days of Summer" saw this coming from director Marc Webb a mile away. Haven't seen it? Good day, sir. Kindly return when you're up to speed.

Garfield and Stone deserve lots of credit here as well. Mainly for being better looking and more talented than Maguire and Dunst.

But Isn't the Lizard ... Y'Know ... a  Pretty Shitty Villain?
Sure. He's not great. Ledger's Joker he ain't, but what he is, is a violent, intelligent, straightforward, formidable villain that can go toe-to-toe with Spidey in thrilling, fast-paced action sequences in which Spidey gets beaten and battered and sliced open and nearly drowned in 3D. Will that work for you? No? Drop dead. Do you even like movies like this?

Everybody's Smart (Except When They're Not)
Many of us do a lot of screaming at our TVs and movie screens ourselves. When a character makes a dumb move we get pissed. These are usually annoying characters that screw shit up for everyone in the name of moving the story along. You know, they're usually dumb kids or Jar Jar Binks. Well ... OK, mostly Jar Jar.

We yell at our protagonists when they make mistakes, too. "How could they be so stupid?!" Guess what? We humans do dumb shit that doesn't make any sense all of the time. Even you. ESPECIALLY you. We need the characters to be flawed and behave like humans to make them relatable and to tell interesting stories. To give us a reason to root for them. Spider-Man is a perfect example of this, and it's on display here, but that not what I'm talking about.

Mistakes are made by the characters in this story. Big ones. But it's not because they're dumb. To the contrary. The characters are much brighter than in your average movie, picking up on all of the played-out superhero movie tropes as they occur. This is a world where it's hard to have a secret identity. It's a world where a teenager with spider powers might not realize how important it is to even have a secret identity.

Wouldn't Gwen figure out that her dying father would make Peter promise to stay away from her to protect her? Yes, and she does. Right away.

Wouldn't Flash Thompson kinda notice that Pete's starting to show up to school all buff and confident? Sure would.

Wouldn't Aunt May figure out why her nephew comes home beat up every night while she watches round-the-clock Spider-Man coverage on TV. Of course she would.

Hey, I said it'd be spoilery.

A Very Necessary Reboot
Go pull out the three Spidey movies and rewatch them. Go ahead. I'll wait...

Oh, wow. Those weren't as good as you remembered, huh? Yikes. Generally good yarns, but the dialogue? Blech. Green Goblin's costume? The Power Rangers must have had a garage sale. Let's not even discuss 3.

These movies have not aged well and I can't help but feel that many of the writers of Amazing Spider-Man must have watched Raimi's movies whilst screaming at the screen, "NO! Not like that! You're doing it wrong! AUUUGGGGHHHHH! Someday, Spidey, someday I'll make this right." Yet, they must have also been saying, "OK that part wasn't bad. Let's use that. Red and blue costume, eh? Genius!" 

They kept what worked and made vast improvements to the special effects, the action, the spider-powers and the interactions between the characters. The movie rebooted the franchise by putting Spider-Man in a much more believable, sci-fi world and it doesn't skimp on the emotions and excitement that are vital to any powerful Spider-Man tale.

The pursuit and ultimate failure to apprehend Uncle Ben's killer gives Peter a believable reason to become and stay Spider-Man. True to the comics, Peter is driven by responsibility, but thankfully, they never go so far as to reuse the cliched, "With Great Power Come Great Responsibility" line.

Perhaps the best part about the Amazing Spider-Man is where it can lead. They've made the story much more personal for Peter. The origin of the Lizard is closely related to his family. His own origin is related to his father's work for Oscorp. All signs point to future villains being tied to this secret history as well, which makes a hell of a lot more sense than a new villain popping up every few months with some insane, new, unrelated origin with Spidey feeling compelled to kick their butt around Manhattan.

With the world that's been created here, and stories like the death of Gwen and a rebooted Goblin on the horizon, I believe that it's a very real possibility that we see a sequel on par with The Dark Knight. Maybe better.

In Conclusion, What the Hell Are You Even Complaining For?!
In the end, we live in a time when it's profitable to put out high-budget Spider-Man movies every few years. Spider-Man MOVIES, people! And we're complaining about Peter Parker riding a skateboard between scenes of him swinging from New York skyscrapers, dodging bullets and punching a giant Lizard.

If this movie isn't for you (and I'd be surprised if it isn't), there will probably be another not far behind that will be. Until then, if you're a Spider-Man fan, put your reservations aside and get your butt to a theater and see this one. It's the truest version we've ever seen in live-action and you'll want to be in at the ground-level as a true Spidey fan. This one's for us.

Jack Welcomes the Return of the Webhead

Hey everybody, this is Jack reporting in once again. Hope you all had a great Fourth of July, and more importantly, that you all had a chance to go and see the Amazing Spider-Man. I know I was first in line Tuesday evening, but before I delve into my review, allow me to share with you the following personal story.

I’ll never forget when, ten years ago, the very first Spider-Man movie hit the big screens. Back then, good superhero flicks were the Holy Grail of fanboys everywhere. We all wanted to believe it was possible to make a decent live-action comic book, but had yet to really see it. The original Batman films were good for their day, but even as a kid I was keenly aware of just how corny they were. But then, just when all hope seemed lost, the X-Men movie debuted and was a surprising hit. Not long after, the ads started to roll for a Spider-Man film and instantly I was hooked. My best friend bought me the movie poster to which I immediately hung on the bedroom wall. Teaser trailers appeared online depicting a helicopter caught in a giant web between the World Trade Center towers. (The ad was later pulled after 9/11.)  You couldn’t read a Marvel issue without a full page ad of Spidey swinging right at you and seemingly off the page. When the day finally arrived I bolted from school, piled into the car of my only friend with a license, and made haste for the nearest theater.

Now, a decade later, we’re blessed to live in an age where superhero movies have become their own genre. Not a year goes by without at least two or three, and for the most part, they’ve all been very successful. With the exception of the Hulk, that is. Oh well. At least he was badass in the Avengers. Even Batman managed to turn it around with their reboot of the franchise. Yet, of all the great movies we’ve been given over the years, I still feel that the original Spider-Man was my favorite experience. Not just because it revolutionized the industry, but also because it was the first film that truly made me feel like I could be a hero too. So the question is: does the Amazing Spider-Man hold up to the original?

The short answer is yes, absolutely. As comic book movies go, it’s everything you could hope for and more. Although don’t be too surprised if you wind up comparing it to the original every step of the way. Yes, it’s true that the story feels awfully familiar right from the start, and not just because Spider-Man’s origin is common knowledge. It’s mainly in part because the previews didn’t do a great job of portraying it as a complete reboot. The tagline: “The Untold Story” led me to believe that Amazing was going to be a prequel of sorts, touching only briefly on his origins. I mean, we’ve seen that part already, right? With that in mind, I certainly wasn’t expecting his origin to be drawn out through the entire first half of the movie. To me, this is an overused device in filmmaking. When Stan Lee first created these characters, their origin was summed up in the first page of the issue and then hit the ground running. If only that were the case at the box office. At a certain point I always find myself getting impatient. It’s like: “C’mon already, get bit by the spider. Is Uncle Ben dead yet? Let’s get this show on the road.”

That being said, I have to admit that everything else was a pure delight. Andrew Garfield’s performance is spot on for both Peter Parker and Spider-Man. As Peter, he’s the lovable misfit we all felt like in our younger years. Yet as Spider-Man, he’s as confident and compassionate as well all strive to be. Not to mention that unlike Tobey Maguire, this Spidey is downright funny, just the way he should be. Hell, Amazing Spider-Man has more jokes in the trailer than the original three films combined. With the addition of web-shooters this time around, we actually get to see Peter’s scientific mind in action; a refreshing change of pace.

Additionally, the inclusion of Gwen Stacy as the love interest was not only more accurate to the original story, but also a nice reward for those of us who’ve followed the comics long enough to know who the Stacys are, and let’s face it, Emma Stone isn’t hard to look at for two hours either. But I think my favorite concept was the relationship between Peter and Captain Stacy. There’s nothing worse than the anxiety of meeting your girlfriend’s dad for the first time. Now imagine being the masked vigilante her detective father is publicly trying to apprehend on top of that. As if first impressions aren't hard enough. There's a dinner table scene in particular where the tension between the two gave me horrible flashbacks of my own adolecent dating experiences. Trust me. You've all been there before.

Lastly, I'd like to make mention of how great a choice the Lizard was as the villain. He's a scientist who turns into a giant raging reptile. Our hero is a student with the powers of an arachnid. The symmetry of the two has such a natural flow, and I love the friends/enemies dynamic. Plus, the special effects really bring the Lizard to life in a believable way, and even Dr. Connors' missing limb is convincing rather than a cheap camera trick or an actor with his arm so obviously tucked into his shirt. With Spider-Man, my favorite villains were always the animal themed ones. I know Norman Osborn is the main event, but personally, I'll take the Vulture or Doc Ock any day.

So there it is. If you've found yourself asking: "is it as good as the original?" the answer is yes. As for: "did it need to be rebooted?," well, probably not, but it is a solid film with something for everyone. I won't give anything away, but I will tell you the movie even has some genuine heart. There's a scene towards the end that's particularly touching where some New Yorkers rally to help everyone's favorite wallcrawler in his darkest hour. I'm sure all you True Believers know to stay put during the end credits because, as always, there's a teaser. A brief one at that, but check it out anyway.

To those of you who have already seen the Amazing Spider-Man I hope you liked it as much as I did.  Those of you who haven't: what are you still doing reading this? Get to the box office, you slackers!

Jack of all Trade Paperbacks
Contributing Writer
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If you'd like to contribute to Salt City Fanboy, either as a writer, an artist, or otherwise, shoot me an email at saltcityfanboy@gmail.com.

"Amazing Spider-Man" Trailer Premieres

Released just over 24 hours after the bombastic "Avengers" trailer, "The Amazing Spider-Man" preview debuted late last night and successfully put my fears about the film to rest. This time around, there's no sign of the origin story from the teaser trailer that sparked so much discussion. No doubt it's still in the movie, but it looks like it will be a decidedly smaller part than it was first made out to be. While the "Avengers" should easily steal much of the movie-going attention this summer, this movie looks to have a better chance at telling a much more interesting (albeit much smaller-scale) yarn. I, as a rabid Spidey fan, am all for it!

"The Amazing Spider-Man" premieres on July 3 in the U.S. Check out the trailer below! I'll see you at the midnight showing.

New Spidey Poster Suggests Involvement of Mysterio - Updated

UPDATE! (Dec. 17, 2011)

I feel compelled to address my rant about "The Amazing Spider-Man" from earlier this week. That's because the movie's website was updated with lots of nice new images and character descriptions that seem to point to "The Untold Story" being the tale of Peter's mom and dad's death and how that helps shape him as a hero. This could be an interesting new spin on his origin, since it's never been addressed in the comics in a very serious way.

Sorry to jump to conclusions, Mr. Mysterio, sir. Carry on.
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Original Blog Entry (Dec. 13, 2011)

You see, I'm starting to think that Mysterio is handling the marketing of the new Spider-Man movie.

The teaser poster for "The Amazing Spider-Man" was released last week, and as most things tend to do these days, it ignited a minor Internet uproar. Many (myself included) have been critical of the teaser trailer that was released many months ago, largely because it looked like the movie will be rehashing the same ground that Spider-Man movie from 2002 covered - in essence, the origin of Spidey.

Now, this poster adds a new fold to the controversy by including the tag line, "The Untold Story." See, I thought this was a relaunch. Is it not? Is it a story that just got left out of the universe of the original three movies? I really did not think that this was the intent of this film. If it is then has Curt Connors been the Lizard the whole time? Did Pete really fall for Gwen Stacy before MJ? Did Tobey Maguire turn into a more attractive British actor for a brief stint? It just raises too many questions and complicates what should be a clean start.

My hope is that we can chalk this up to bad marketing, but if that's so, why is director Mark Webb (yes, Webb) putting his stamp of approval on it? I'm not going to lie fanboys and girls, it has me a mite bit worried.

All will be revealed when the movie is released on July 3, 2012 in a theater near you. Until then, I suppose we can let Mysterio have his fun.



The Amazing Spider-Man Teaser Poster 
(Click to Enlarge This Head-scratcher)



Twice Bitten

Despite the redesigned costume, which I consider to be totally unnecessary and just plain ugly, I've been really optimistic about this movie. The movie's director Marc Webb (how's that for a fitting name?) absolutely killed it with (500) Days of Summer and I trust him completely with the characters.

That said, do we really need to see the damn origin story again? At this point, I don't know who's been shot more times, Uncle Ben or Thomas and Martha Wayne.