Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Star Wars Blu-ray Changes - The Good, the Bad & the Whatever

Well, it's official - there will be many changes to the Star Wars movies for the blu-ray release. One's a very good idea, two are really awful and most are things that really don't matter at all and you wonder why they even bothered.

So let's start with ... THE GOOD.
Crappy 1999 puppet Yoda will indeed be changed to CGI Yoda used in AOTC and ROTS and Classic 1981-83 puppet Yoda will not. I addressed this when it was first speculated a few weeks ago. In my opinion, it's just good to make his appearance consistent for the prequels. Unfortunately, no amount of CGI Yoda will make the Gungans bearable.

Next up is ... THE BAD.
Vader will indeed yell "NOOOOOOOOOO!" when he tosses Palpatine down the chute in Death Star 2. Now, I'm not one who really minded the "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" in ROTS. I get that it was an homage to old monster movies. I didn't think that it was laughable like many, many fans did. Call me an apologist, but for me, it worked.

Now ... adding it to ROTJ. No. Stop. Don't. It's absolute crap. Vader's silent, internal struggle just before saving Luke has always been beautifully done. I've long defended ROTJ from detractors who point to ewoks and muppets in Jabba's palace and I use the Vader/Luke/Palpatine scenes to do that. These are the scenes that are the payoff for not only the original trilogy, but now the entire saga. It's just done perfectly and I hate that Mr. Lucas has decided to make any kind of change to it. If anyone watches this newly adjusted scene and feels that it's a good addition, we need to chat, because I'm afraid you're wrong. Perhaps more wrong than you've ever been.

See? Just ... I mean ... so damn bad.

The only other thing that I qualify as BAD is the updated krayt dragon scream that Obi Wan uses to scare away the sand people in ANH. This is not because I'm some kind of krayt dragon purist. It just sounds so ridiculous. It sounds like a South Park parody of the scream in the original release for Christ's sake!

And finally .... THE WHATEVER.
There will also be relatively minor improvements to a few scenes. For example, the ewoks will have eyelids (fine), there will be more TIE fighters in the final space battle of ROTJ (OK), Jabba's front door will be ginormous (unnecessary, but who cares?) and Artoo will have some CGI rocks to hide behind in ANH (why bother?). I guess my opinion here is - I don't care about this stuff, but I still prefer that you didn't, Mr. Lucas. Just don't.

Sadly, he did and he will continue to.

This leads to ... A PLEA TO GEORGE LUCAS.
Now, I might be coming across as a jaded fan of the Star Wars trilogies. Don't get me wrong, it's because I love these movies so much that I care about this kind of thing. So here's my plea, Mr. Lucas. This is what fans like me need: the Original Trilogy. Remastered for blu-ray. No special edition changes. At all. Then stop. Leave it alone. No more Star Wars changes. Enough. Then - Howard the Duck 2.

OK, forget that last part.

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